[Warning: Contains Spoilers of Movies that You’ve Probably Seen. I’m Being Courteous.]

Clueless (1995). Paul Rudd and Alicia Silverstone’s characters hook up at the end. “Hello?” They establish their relationship at the beginning of the movie as step siblings. I get that their parents were only married briefly but still kinda gross.

Harry Potter Series (2001-2011). I have to thank a good friend for pointing this out, but this whole mega-franchise revolves around a grown man trying to kill, essentially, a child. Grow up and pick on someone your own age, Voldemort.

Titanic (1997). It was a big boat. Plenty of debris to go around in that ocean. ‘Nuff said. Leo just wanted to die in time to avoid suffering through Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On.”

The Goonies (1985). They all stand on the beach and watch the pirate ship slowly sail away. “Holy Mary, Mother of God.” Yeah, Holy Mary, Mother of God, get your asses in a boat and get that treasure. Plenty of money for everyone to go around. Let’s think bigger than saving the goon docks, people. These kids need college money.

Home Alone (1990-1992). Haha. Child neglect is funny maybe once if you go with the plot’s suspension of disbelief. But to leave him alone again, and then go for a third, fourth time in tv movies? Where’s DHS?

Fargo (1996). A major character is pregnant through the whole movie but never gives birth. Don’t think that’s happened in any other movie. Actually, that’s pretty damn awesome.